Wednesday, November 26, 2008


In a previous post, I said for the next relationship, I shall be patient and wait for the other to mature, something I always look for.

Now that I had more time to think about it, I realize this thought is deeply flawed. This is because one should love the other for what he/she is, not for what that person may become in the future. By wanting something else from the other, I was already deeply wrong.

Oh, well, at least now I know. Right?

Monday, November 17, 2008

사랑을 말하다

사랑은 숨쉬는 공기와 같아야 한다고 억지로 하면 안되는 거라고
하지만 그 모든 자유에도 최소한의 배려와 희생은 포함되어야 한다고

Saturday, November 15, 2008

그대가 곁에 있어도...

물 속에는
물만 있는 것이 아니다
그 하늘만 있는 것이 아니다
그리고 내 안에는
나만이 있는 것이 아니다

내 안에 있는 이여
내 안에서 나를 흔드는 이여
물처럼 하늘처럼 내 깊은 곳 흘러서
은밀한 내 꿈과 만나는 이여
그대가 곁에 있어도
나는 그대가 그립다

- 류시화 "그대가 곁에 있어도 나는 그대가 그립다"

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Ticket To Paradise

When there's no where else to run,
is there room for one more son?

Never to miss out on any of my favorite bands' concert in Atlanta area again, I went above and beyond and got myself two tickets to upcoming concert of The Killers on 30 January in the next year. I may have crossed my budget line--it was around the higher end of $100. Let me just hope that the professional concerts do worth this kind of money.

I do...what, now?

"피터는 매력을 흘리고 다닌다니까."
(rough translation: "Peter habitually leaves mixed message behind.")

...said one of church friends the other day.
Guess I should stop doing whatever that is.

Monday, November 10, 2008

"사람이 무언가 기대되는것이 없다는것은
희망이 없다는것과 마찬가지라고 생각한다."

기대가 없어 희망이 없다는 것은,
희망이 낳아주는 꿈이 없다는 것이고,
사람이 꿈이 없다는 것은 죽은 것과 마찬가지라고
나는 생각한다.

기대와 희망.
그것은 한 사람의 지표이며
그의 욕망을 불태워 인간의 한계를 뛰어 넘는
거대한 삶의 원동력이 아닐까.

이렇게 말을 하는 나는
지금 하루하루 꿈을 잃어가는
일반적인 삶을 살아가며
두 손을 놓은채
주저앉아 있다.

너에게 나의 희망을 건다.
내가 행복할 이유가 되어줘..

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Listen to My Crying in Agony

Last week, I said I have to go to Coldplay's concert.

Well... it seems like tickets for the concert on next Tuesday is sold out and the cheapest ticket I can get at this time costs $107, and that's even for the ones seating on top floor of the stadium!

Can I cry now? *sniff*

PS. I just found out that The Killers will be coming to Atlanta at the end of January! And... tickets are already sold out. ..... @#%#@$^@#%@!!!!


썸머 시작한지 얼마나 되었다고 이러는 것일까..
벌써 학교에 있기가 싫다..
집에 가고싶다..
한국에 가고싶다..
그저..그냥..어디론가 떠나고 싶다..

보고싶은 사람이 없다..
내 마음을 주고싶은 사람이 없다..
같이 내 삶의 순간 순간들을 나누고 싶은 사람이..


- On a lonely day, May 2004

어떤 계기로 오래전에 적은 일기를 들추어 보게 됐다.
존재했는지도 잊어버린 나의 생각들.
길지도, 짧지도 않은 4년이란 세월이 지난 지금,
그 시절의 생각을 되세기며 내 자신의 등을 토닥이며 말한다:

"먼 길을 오느라 힘들었지? 잘왔어, 짜샤."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


I can't thank God enough for giving me a chance to experience such a marvelous event, to be filled with joy, thrill, and inspiration for the better tomorrow.

We've done it. We've become the beacon of light, the flagpole of hope for the world. Now let's deliver on the promises and all the expectations.

Monday, November 3, 2008

A Musing on Relationship

To be fatuously honest, one of the reasons my last relationship didn't last is that I thought of the other immature. This is silly that it's funny because looking back, it was I that was the young one, not knowing a thing what he was doing.

At the time, I wanted to be a responsible and reliable adult (I still do) and started the relationship because she appeared to be remarkably mature for her age. Maybe I thought I'd be an adult by having one next to me. When I discovered that she was, in fact, a teenage girl still struggling to shape her ego, I found myself in a mulky position. And rest is history.

What I realized after the breakup is something that everyone knows: people change, or grow, in this case. Shortly after, I found her changing--for the better--very fast that I actually regretted not giving more deliberation to the decision and time for the relationship. In short, I just didn't hold out long enough.

People make mistakes. People make all kinds of stupid calls and from those, they learn. I believe I've learned something out of this... and I shall put it to practice this time around, and hope that this time, I will have a relationship I always wanted: a meaningful, deep, and mature relationship.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Energy-Sucking Work

It feels like I get tired just by sitting at my desk in this window-less, all-gray and bland office.

It is a psychological thing? Is my attitude towards this place doing it? How about you? Do you get tired just by being at your work?

Gossip Maker

These days, I'm being a topic among people around me. There has been so many gossip about my life... Although I want to deny it, I think, deep inside me, a part of me is actually enjoying this. This is bad. And I shall put an end to it...

Well, it soon will, anyways.