Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Real Playboy

Few days ago, I heard someone describing playboy. According to her, a real playboy is not necessarily someone who is good at charming people, or dates many many girls. Rather, she says it's those who easily falls for girls. He (or even she) has this ability to find something that is so charming in practically everyone, especially a new face.

So, if I thought she was describing myself, am I a playboy? Well, there was this one time when... Never mind. Just bad memories.

Monday, July 21, 2008


나는 왜 내가 하는 일마다
관심을 갖질 못하는 걸까

언제나 다른 것을 쳐다보며
한숨 짓고있다.

무엇을 하던 마지못해 하며
죽을 쓰는 지금에서 벗어나

무엇을 하던 누구 못지않게
해내는 내가 될 수 없을까?

주위를 둘러보면 필요한건 다 있는데
난 도데체 무엇을 더 바라는 걸까?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Failure To Evolve

Time flies. It definitely flies. This is especially obvious when I learn of new idol groups consisted of little girls or boys that are born in years that I actually remember vividly. What kind of boys and girls do you picture when you think of those born after '90s? Well, those fully developed (or more than I expect) girls and boys with thick and low voice on television are definitely not what I picture!

Eh-hem. I digress. So, anyways, as I waste supersonic days of my life, my time here in Atlanta has already getting close to a full year; one short more month, and it will be my 1st year aniversary. What's more is that it already has been a one full year since my college graduation! Now how long ago was it when I thought a year was such a dreadfully long time..?

In that short time, of which I can't remember what I've been doing, there's one thing I've noticed that occurred several times spread throughout my stay: when meeting new people, I am frequently asked what I am studying. Noticed I didn't say what I "studied"; they are assuming, and I don't know why, that I am still in school, either in undergraduate or graduate, pursuing some kind of degree. So, I generously inform them of my graduation and of my work.

So, my question is, what is it about me that makes people think I am still in school? Is it my college-nerdy look that I failed to get rid of after college? Is it the same damn clothes from back at school I still wear? Or my Harry Potter-esque nerdy glasses?

Whatever it is, the constant inquiry of my major is really getting into my head; I'm now thinking maybe my place is in academia, not in this harsh, survival-of-the-fittest business sector.

Ah, the comfortable, laid-back, full of dusty old books that I'll never open, and supportive atmosphere...

Well, I guess it's good, then, that I am looking into going back to school already, and that my study of GRE is about to commence. several months ago--I bought GRE vocabulary book several months back, and hasn't gone past first 30 vocabularies. Yay?


As a Christian, I know that I shouldn't really heed the words of things like fortune cookie. But sometimes, the fortunes from those cookies seem right on target, that I can't really dismiss what it says completely.

Yesterday, I cracked open a fortune cookie after a meal out, and got a proper fortune--not one of those stupid "You are great person... blah blah" thing--that told me I'll find an item I've been looking for within few days. At first, I took the word "item" loosely, and hoped it meant "someone," like a hot girl or cute girl. ;D

But then there was this "item" item I've been missing: my iPod shuffle. It was lost in the rush to airport last week, and I wasn't able to find it even with all-out search last Sunday after I got back from the trip.

Today, after I got out of my car and started walking to my work, I remembered that I sometimes put my iPod in my shirt's chest pocket (whatever that is called). Remembering the fortune, I half-heartedly felt the pocket, and voila! My iPod, sitting in the pocket.

I know this may sound trivial; after all, people do lose and find things all the time. However, when such finding is preceded first with giving up, then with a fortune telling, one can't help but feel the coincidence may not be just a coincidence.

And that's what I feel like, and I will always remember the fortune that told me my golden days are not far from now.

Monday, July 7, 2008


Las Vegas.

Nationals Kendo Championship.

1st Place.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

푸른 아침의 별로 푸르지 않은 상념

난 참 중심이 없는 남자다.
흔히 "줏대가 없다" 라고들 하지.

도로를 달릴때 앞에 차의 속도에 따라 빠르게,
혹은 느리게 가는 사소한 점 부터,
검도 대련하는 상대에 따라 달라지는 승부욕이며,
심지어 상사에 따라 현저히 바뀌는 일의 능률 등.

이것은 내 일관성 없는 취향을 봐도 알수있다.

「고양이의 보은」같은 어린이 만화를
생각없이 좋아하면서
동시에 「공각기동대」, 「인랑」같은
아무리 많이 생각을 해도 이해하기 어려운
난해한 작품을 좋아하기도 한다.

클래식 음악같은 고리타분한 노래를
좋아한다고 우기는 동시에
종종 무대위에 서서 귀엽게 보이려 애를 쓰는
아이돌 스타의 노래를 좋아하기도 한다.

또는, 언제나 나의 고집을 앞세우며
다른사람에게 나의 입장을 주입시키다가
다음순간 옆의 사람의 의견을
그대로 받아들이기도 한다.

이것은 사랑에 관해서도 다르지 않다.
어제는 이 사람이 아니면
죽을 것 처럼 슬퍼하고 아파하다가
오늘은 나를 생각해 주는 사람에게
다가가고 싶어하기도 한다.

나의 줏대없는 이런 행동은
주위의 여러명을 힘들게 하고
내 개인의 발전을 방해한다.

어떻게 하면 중심을 잡고
내 이름의 뜻 처럼
반반하고 신뢰할수 있는
사람이 될까-.