Imagine Me & You

"Yes it is.
I want you to be happy.
More than anything else I wanted to be the cause of happiness in you.
But if I'm not, then I can't stand in the way, you see?
Because what you're feeling now, Rachel, is the unstoppable force.
Which means that I've got to move."

I'll be honest. I used to have so called "homo-phobia." I used to become so grossed out at anything homo--I just couldn't understand why they'd go after someone that has their.. tool (you know what I mean..).

Then over the last few years, I started to think differently. I guess all those TV shows and movies made my perception change a bit. Then, over the last winter, I actually got to get to know some gays and lesbians--working at a department store tends to provide excellent opportunity for meeting them in person. This finally got me to accept them. They are people just like any others who have their own lives, likes and dislikes, habits, schedule... and, of course, their own love life.

This movie opened my mind to those people without any effort on my side. The love story it had is something that anyone can relate to. But then, the couple that the story is centered around are women, not a man and a woman. Besides that one small thing, everything else is just like any other stories... love, hate, conflict... And the characters being adorable also helped, too.

On a side note, I was surprised to see the old British people were so natural with gays. I mean, old parents, in an American TV show about lesbians, were freaking out when they found out about their daughter is in fact homosexual. The family went through a huge drama to accept that fact, but in this movie, the parents of a daughter, who is married to a man already, accepted the fact that she was a lesbian, and that she is maddly in love with another woman so easily. Maybe it's because it is a movie. But more British movie I watch, more I am astonished at how fast their society move forward..

And will I let go of my love like Hect? I think I will. And I will probably kill myself afterwards.. Just kidding. I think..

Yes! I knew it was her...
a woman who stood behind the king of braves
when the world turned against him...

You, Me and....

Having HBO is great; You get to see all those movies that weren't quite appealing enough to drag yourself to a theatre or rent a DVD, such as You, Me, and Dupree (just Dupree from now on), which I started watching while flipping through channels like any other days.

Although movie itself is a typical, silly Hollywood's romantic-comedy movie, it did have a part where I found myself empathizing with the main character. It's when Carl, who is newly wed with Molly, becomes jealous (not sure if this is right feeling but sort of same, I guess) of Dupree when he becomes pretty close to his wife after barging into his home soon after the wedding. When Dupree moves in at first, Carl was the one looking out for Dupree. But Molly, being a great person with a kind and understanding heart, is harsh on Carl and kind to Dupree. The movie makes some kind of stupid event to wrap it up, but I couldn't help but think that both Dupree and Molly failed to understand Carl at all.

Even if you had a friend who was very close to a girl or a boy you like, or are going out with, you must understand who carl would feel at this point. Maybe I am a selfish person, but I definitely wouldn't like to see one of my guy friend--or any friend actually--being so close to my girlfriend when I myself can't. It's not respectful of my friend, as well as stupidity of the girlfriend. Just think; what would you feel if your friend was getting along real well with your girl/boyfriend when you weren't having such a good time? I , out of respect to my friend if not anything else, wouldn't get so close with girlfriends/boyfriends if the couple are not actually showing much affection, which is when those two are the ones closest to each other at the moment. Watching a friend grabbing so much attention from someone dear is just heartbreaking...

Damn, I'll be like "What the hell are you doing to my wife?"

Oh, as a side note, thank God for HBO, and thanks to BellSouth, a company that I will be hating as soon as I get a HDTV--whenever that is--for letting me watch HBO even when I didn't order it.

Today's Lessons

• Lesson #1: Do not practice Kendo with empty-stomach. If you have to, forget the practice, and go eat instead.
• Lesson #2: Do not be a stuck-up. It's never good for anybody. Especially when you have no energy due to starvation.

-after sucking at 2 hour-long Kendo practice
due to starving for 7 hours
(Excuses, excuses..)

Lena.

I was flipping through channels and, I don't know why, but I started watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Although it definitely is a chick-flick, it actually touched on many good topics. And, I say this shamelessly, it did have several moments that made me think about things in the past... especially Lena and Bridget's stories.

Watching a little girl falling in love, I asked, 'Can boys and girls fall in love? Is what they feel, that fireworks in their brains that goes off when they're around certain people of opposite sex, actually love? If so, why do people think that they are just playing around when they are in love?'

The answer, I guess, might be that kids grow up. They change fast. With those changes, even a lovely couple can grow apart easily when they fail to embrace those changes.

At my age of 23, I still have the urge to change. I want to become someone I want to be; I do not want to be satisfied, yet. Maybe when I finally become someone that I think is real me, I will be ready for a real mature relationship.

...but I'm afraid that day will never come...

Show Me Your Left Hand

일을 시작한지 이제 5일째.

일을 시작하면서 나이가 심지어 내 나이의 2배가 되는 사람들과 옆에서 지내다 보니 이제껏 겪어보지 못한 일을 겪어보게된다.

오늘은 직장 사람들과 일본 음식점에 나가 밥을 먹고 있는데, 같이 있던 사람 중 한명이 내 왼손을 보고 '결혼도 안했는데 어서 여자를 찾아야 되지 않겠냐'고 말을 했다.

이제까지 내 나이또래와 지내오니 결혼한 사람이 그리 많을리가 없다. 그래서 다른사람의 손을 보고 결혼 안했다는걸 확신해야 하는 경우도, 상대방이 내 손을 보고 내가 아직 미혼이라는 것을 봐야하는 그런 경우가 별로 없었다는 것. 오늘은 그분께서 내 손을 보고 말을하는걸 보니 기분이 참신했다.

사람들의 왼손이 꽤 중요한 역활을 하게되는 시간이 빠르게 다가오고 있다는 것을 느꼈다..

속담

인간관계에 있어서 굴뚝에 연기가 나면
정말로 무언가가 있는 것이다.

하아..

Déjà vu

Ha, a Déjà vu. I certainly remember this.
But I guess it's too early.. you're busy, so I must understand.

질투의 화성인

오래전 부터 친하게 지냈던 사람에게 누나가 존댓말을 쓰는걸 들었다. 오래전부터 지금까지 줄곳 편하게 말을 놓던 사람에게 누나가 갑자기 말을 높히니, 너무나도 부자연스러운게 아닌가. 그런 누나의 이유란, 누나의 친구와 그 형이 오랫동안 사귀며 꽤나 심각한 관계로까지 발전했던지라.. 친구의 남편이 될 사람에게 너무 편하게 말하고 그러면 실례일껏 같아서..란다.

두 가정중 한 가정은 이혼을 하는 요즘 시대에 그런것 까지 상관하는건 좀 이상하게 보일수도 있지만, 누나의 입장이 아주 이해가 안가는 것은 아니다. 내가 좋아하는 사람, 내가 사귀는 사람, 더 나아가 결혼한 사람이 다른 이성의 사람과 친하게 지내는 모습은, 아무리 봐도 좋게 보일수가 없다. 물론 그냥 쿨하게 넘어가줄수도 있을것이다. 하지만 소유욕이 많은 나같은 사람에겐 아무리 친한 친구라도 좋은 감정이 있는 사람과 친하게 지내는 모습은 나쁘게 보일수밖에 없고, 심하면 질투를 부를수도 있다는 사실. 알아줬으면 한다.