Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Something I (don't) Live For

"To create a world where science and technology are celebrated... where young people dream of becoming science and technology heroes."

This is a quote from a website about a robotics competition I was looking up for one of my (required) volunteer opportunities for my work. (Yeah, really. A required volunteer. How fun.) When I read this line, I realized something. This is what people in this work place dream of; to be a hero in science and technology world. The problem is, I'm not really all that excited about technological and scientific stuff. More precisely, not anymore.

Thinking back, I used to be truly excited, fascinated and even flabbergasted by all things technology: computers, airplanes, spacecrafts, TVs, cell phones, new GPUs, huge HDDs, and so on. I used to look up online for newest gadgets, read an electronics' manual from cover to cover, or tell my not-so-tech-savvy family about what's hot out there, and why we need it.

But that enthusiasm started to fade away at some point. I started to get less excited by continuous stream of new tech stuff and get tired at being disappointed by them. I got tired of listening to fanboys railing about why something's so cool*. I started to feel empty even when I purchased a cool new toy, which I'd soon drop and look for something else. I think I started to see how things are in this side of the world; everything is bound to lose the "coolness," and so a better new thing must be developed. This is the fundamental driving force of technology; everything's got to be better, hotter, and cooler. (How you manage one thing to be cool and hot at the same time is beyond me.)

Ultimately, I realized that these things will never be able to satiate my thirst for the warmth and the comfort I eager all the time. What can satisfy me is that the people, not of the machine.

And that's what I want: human feelings. A moving story; a great work of art; a breath-taking photograph; something that makes me stop for a second and think. Something that moves every single cell in my body, and feel an emotion I cannot describe. A powerful message that can only be delivered by sound, or by image.

I want more than "cool." I want art. I am slowly realizing that I am in the wrong side of the world, and that's why as each day passes by, I get more tired and exhausted, less willing to get out of the bed each morning.

*This word, "cool," seems to dominate this world, as if it's like a word of truth, a word to live by, and die by. I'm really tired to hear something is so cool or that's not cool. There's plenty of other adjectives than "cool," you know.


hannah said...

.. i thought you were cool. -_-a

Ren Chan said...

found anything innovative lately that mixes technology and art?

Doc said...

but being cool is COOL....

by cool I mean a sellout and a fanboy of all apple products, pretentiously thinking that the newest gig will get you a higher status and being so insecure about oneself as to depend one's social acceptance following the pop-culture of technology. They should just get themselves a black turtle neck

and by COOL I mean lame