Monday, September 8, 2008

"We Live In A Cynical, Cynical World."

There are a lot of things I promised myself not to do, even if everyone else around me seems to do be doing them. One of those is smoking, which I have been keeping it very well, and another is to respond to others' romances in genuine, non-cynical way, to kindly embrace them as sincere happiness that should be celebrated. But lately, I am finding myself doing exactly the opposite.

It's been more than two full years since I've had someone to call my own, and my attitude towards others' affairs has changed dramatically in that short, but oh-so-freak'n-long period of solitude. While I used to be happy to see someone in relationship, now I see them and always find something to frown upon.

Once, I was introduced to a boyfriend of this girl at church. I was told of their story along with it, how they once hooked up and then broke up under stress and pressure from the girl's parents--the boyfriend didn't get higher education. You know how that is to parents. (And honestly, to me, too.) Anyways, now that they somehow got over all the obstacles, they are back together. Because she appeared to me as someone who'd get along with Sex And The City girls very well--meaning she seems to carefully examine guys with worldly measurements much more so than her own feeling and what not--I was very surprised by her dedication to someone who doesn't even have a decent resume to show. So, cheers to a happy ending.

Or not.

It was about a month after I first met the guy. After church and after I've greeted the couple, I was on my way to my car, and vrooom, here goes the girl in her boyfriend's car, 2008 BMW Z4 convertible with open top. Instantly, all my good thoughts of them evaporated. I started thinking, 'Did she hung onto him because of that?' 'Maybe her "love" towards him isn't so innocent.' And even, 'Man, they're showing off. Sky isn't even clear to have the hood top open like that.'

I know, it may not have anything to do with her decision to get back with him. It may not. But the point is, I don't see it that way. I would have, if it were a couple years ago. But not now. If her now-boyfriend didn't have something to show, I doubt they'd been back together.

There are many other cases that are more or less like this, but those are for another time.

PS. I promise you, my change of heart towards them have nothing to do with the favorable comments she had made towards me before she got back to her boyfriend. Really.

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