Wednesday, September 24, 2008


Living several hundred miles away from rest of the family apparently leads each other to grow apart. It's not that they stop to love each other, but each other's problems start to look like someone else's problems. Well, maybe not completely, but to some degrees, I think it's true. It certainly is in my case. Yesterday, I was again reminded of how screwed my family's situation is, something I honestly haven't been thinking about for awhile.

I know every family has its own problem to overcome, but I think it's especially challenging for my family; things just doesn't change, no, we don't change. We keep refusing to accept our fault and arrogance, and always try to work around it without going into the root of all evil and work our way up from there. This is like figuring out how not to fall when you pull tablecloth out, all the while you are standing right on top of it. No, it's more like figuring out how not to look like a fool while doing all that.

I may be at fault for not genuinly inclined to help them in every possible way, or even for not being with them when the shit hits the fan, but, I just can't throw myself in the way of the filth, just to let them deny their inevitable hard decision a little bit longer.

I just can't bring myself to do it when all I see from them is ... refusal to accept the real help.

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