I think I should start recording the days I feel so down, as if there really isn't anything for me in this world, because it seems like it just keeps coming back, like a cycle of some sort. It's like having period, except there really isn't one. Or maybe there is. In my head.
A while ago, someone told me guys also have this mood cycle, just like girls. While it's clearly visible for girls (hint: monthly "magic"), guys do get depressed from time to time without apparent reason. There are some studies that shows this, so I guess it's not all bullshit. (Being a lazy Slowbro I am, I refuse to do a research and varify the source of the said study.) Of course, some may be depressed more than others, depending on testosterone level, presumably, which I suspect I have less of compared to other "normal" guys at athletic clubs. (Should I be ashamed of this?)
Well, if I must think of a reason for this depression, I must draw it upon the existance of love interest around me. When I see cute girls, I get excited. World start looking so bright with pink colors and blinding sunshine. When they start disappearing, or they turn out occupied at the moment, the world becomes mundane, freezing hell. Singing birds go travel, a terrible storm comes and pours heavy, cold rain, and it's winter all over again. (Yes, it's cold today. Yes, of course the only attractive girl at church has a boyfriend, and there's no update on a promised hookup from a couple weeks ago. Awwww... sadness.)
When I was spending my parent's money away in a college in the wonderful city of Chicago, I made a quick poster out of torn out magazine images for some club activity: an opaque, subtly depressing blue background with a conductor waving his arms desperately towards it, as if to make it brighter or lift the depressing feeling. (It was very artistic. No, really.) Exactly what I feel now. I must have been feeling the same even in my freshmen year. ... That's even more depressing.
...But I told you, it's the hormone. It's not me. Or girls, or rather, lack of girls. I swear.
6 comments:
haha, this post reminds me of what nick told you "A defense contracting company isn't the best place to chase tail..." but I do love how you feel that having girls around cheers you up XD I'm sure if you told them that it'd make their day brighter too....
male period.....;;;ㅋㅋㅋ
ren: LOL. That'd be cheesy and a great way to chase them away...
not all of us hate that good cheesy stuff! we watch ooey-gooey romance movies for a reason! u're just not a smooth talker XP
mmmm~ cheesy goodness...
ew. :P
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