The Vicious Cycle of Our Lives

Even though we are prone to bad behaviors all the time, it is my firm belief that we know exactly what is the right things and the wrong things to do each and every moment--unless you're either high or drunk, but that's beside the point--even while we're doing the wrong thing. This is because, I believe, of laziness. I, for example, know that I really should concentrate on work, and I should stop blogging and surfing the net--I keep blogging because working requires more energy and willpower to maintain focus.

Here is a list of some other things that I know I really ought to be doing on daily basis, but I am not:

1. Be truly religious. Give up my everything to Him and be a humble servant. This, contrary to today's culture of greed and pride, is the only true way to real happiness on this Hellish world. Be helpful to others, be loving, and give up. Simple, yes, but extremely hard.
2. STOP PLAYING GAMES. This may be the single most life-depriving activity I constantly come back to every day. While gaming itself can't be faulted for every hardship I go through, it is the root of all evil as it takes up most of my free time and energy that I should spend on other more productive activities, such as the next one.
3. Work on personal projects. As I've expressed several times before, the current job isn't in the path to the career goal I wish to pursue. Basically, I'm sticking with this position to survive this economic winter, and keep paying the bill. So, it's probably given that I am not getting any experience in skills that are directly applicable to my desired career. To supplement this gap, I need to launch some project that is in alignment with my goal.

I realize that more than a quarter of my life have already passed. Each year is becoming shorter and shorter as I grow older and older--There's only 1/3 of 2010 left, already! I don't think I should waste any of my time, but of course, this is easier said than done. If you ask me why I don't do the above if I know so well, I'll say that I am waiting for someone to break me out of it. By myself alone, it just feels impossible to do anything else than repeating yesterday. Or maybe I'm afraid of something. As Frodo said,

" I know what I must do, it's just that... I'm afraid to do it. "