Tricky, This Thing Called Money...

The recent financial crisis here in US is reminding me not only how valuable my job is, but also how terrible I am with money stuff. (I know economic crisis and my personal finance was a bit of a gap, but it does. So, shut up.)

Some of you may know but I was never a keeper. I mean money-wise, at least. Whatever I earn, I spend. This is bad. But sometimes, I spend more than I earn. This is terrible. To keep track of where my money is going, I started recording all my spendings and earnings, and guess what? I still have no idea where it's going. I just see that big red number at the end of each month, indicating I've spent more than what I've earned that month. But that doesn't mean much, because I think to myself, 'Oh, well, I can work OT and make up for it.'

Yeah, right. Like I ever work nearly enough to cover my expenses. (I'm usually to busy spending my money away, or enjoy the goods I bought, to work more.) This is keeping my overall financial asset in red, and I don't see any improvement.

I keep thinking I should stop spending my money away, but being in the middle of the end-of-the-year holiday season, it's not helping much. There has been such a wealth of must-buys that I just could not pass on, so that drained my wallet heavily. Even with that initial holiday rush of goodness in the rear view mirror, planned trip to parents' home and to New York for the holiday doesn't help much.

I guess I can blame all this to my parents for failing to teach me how to properly manage my finance. Well, I can blame them for every shit I'm in, and honestly, I have been. But I guess in the end, it's all up to me. It's my own business, and I'm responsible for it's situation--although my family's situation did have something to do with my heavily drained checkbook.

Anyways, this post has become such a rant and whine that I don't even remember why I started writing. I guess I'm trying to say, even if I'm earning much more than many and should be fairly well off, that's just not the case.

I need someone who'd help me keep my money..